Little ingenuities of illiterate parents

Perhaps everyone will agree in unison that romance fails us and so do friendships, but the relationship of parent and child, less noisy than all the others, remains indelible and indestructible, the strongest relationship on earth; because it is our parents who have shaped and made us what we are today.

When I see my parents interact with my children now, it’s always a nostalgia which I live with reveries in my eyes and deft touch of tenderness in heart.

In the autumn of 2009 when my son was in class III, my mother, Gamde said to my eldest child, Pumdee, ‘Bodee, study hard and you must strive to move into next class every day,”. As I sat listening to their conversation, she continued, “Look at the grey hairs and wrinkles on my face I am getting too old and your Ato (meaning grand father in our language, Galo) is also very old now. We would rest in peace only if we could see you pass primary schooling in our lifetime.”

Two years later, last December, when my son went visiting them during his winter break,  my mother repeated her ‘Oscar Winning’ lines to her grandson, who is appearing for his Class V finals now,  but with a twist in the end and said, “I would feel really proud and satisfied if you could pass middle school in our lifetime.”

‘There you go setting about another milestone, Ane (meaning mother)!’ I spoke to myself.

And those famous ‘Oscar Winning’ lines of her, I heard at least 6 times before landing my first job at Hero Honda Motors Limited, now known as Hero Motor Corps; In her own paternalistic tone and tenor, she had set the goals, for me, with those classic lines in Class V, VIII, X, XII, Graduation and Post Graduation.

And now is the turn of my son. That is how time flies by.

Reminiscing my younger days, I realise that, that was her 'signature style'  of setting goals for children- eight of her own; and many more cousins, living with her in Aalo town that provided the best education facilities in those days in the 1960s, 70s and 80s.

Whilst she was raising many children, my father, Sokjar, was mostly away in the outposts such as Menchuka, Tato, Monigaon, Tirbin, Gensi, Tai etc as a political interpreter, more popularly known as PI before he retired in 1982. When I look back, I think, he was not one of those ‘Yes Boss’ kind, which ensured that he was not in the good books of his bosses to enjoy the luxury of being in the headquarter and with the family. But as I grew up, I learnt that he was known as ‘Keba Hokjar’, meaning ‘Sokjar for justice’, for which I take lot of pride.

In 1982, he was 58 officially but I have my doubts on veracity of date- he must have been around 64 or 65 years, based on his narration of his assignments at Sadiya before India’s independence which I will deal with some other time.

In 1982-83 lot of things happened in my life: I joined Kinder Garden (KG) as part of the first batch in new KG Block of RK Mission School; my father retired from service to be left in peace away from daily office politicking; and my third brother, Brigadier Jarken Gamlin, was commissioned as 2^nd Lieutenant in 2/8 GR of Indian Army. It was a kind of poetic justice with one bread-earner fading away, replaced by his son, in a better and more lucrative position.

Thus, though in their twilight years, I have had the luxury of both parents around on full time basis. I was brought up in a more secure environment-psychologically. But with a retired father, I think it was tougher to manage financially, when I reflect back. 

Nevertheless, with liberal thoughts and highly educative parents though not literate in academic sense, I learnt basic of mathematics- counting and calculations- from them.

Every evening, my mother would ask me to count the chicken as she huddled them back to the bamboo baskets; and later into the night, father would ask me to count the stars as we sat on the verandah of our thatched-roof home; while my mother would ask me to count ‘black-moles’ in her face while tucking me into bed.

My father was particularly fond of playing cards, which he learnt during his stay with Assam Rifle jawans after he accidently killed a person, whilst on assignment at Achingmori during ‘Tagin War’, as is popularly known. As part of ‘card legacy’, my dad learnt many more variance of the game. I recall a popular card-game of 80s called, ‘Thousand’. My dad, along with his friends, would make me do the calculations and I would time my speed of calculations- sum/ division!-finish doing calculations for each round before the dealings of the next round is complete.  

That’s where I learnt mental mathematics.

I, fondly, recollect my mother’s methods of teaching and my father’s passion of narrations. Those were little ingenuity of illiterate parents which worked for their children. It is rightfully said, we realise our parents love only after becoming parents. Like all of you , I wish my parents to be with us for a long time, and hear her whisper those ‘pearls of wisdom’ for many more years to come.